February 2nd, 2005
|10:31 pm - Hey, look, it's another SG-1 fic!|
Am I hooked? Absolutely. Feedback, particularly constructive criticism, always welcomed.
ETA: D'oh. I must thank JD for his sharp, real-time beta. *waves* It's much appreciated!
season: probably mid-2nd
Sometimes Daniel thinks that the first translation team got closer to the essence of the word. Chaapa’ai is an awfully poetic term for something as essentially practical as the mechanism for ‘Gate travel. But it suits the artifact, with its circle of wavering light like a slice of ocean between him and the stars. Door to the heavens might be a happy medium. In that disc, the blur of our world fades into unknown silence, as the ripples of quantum mechanics spiral down an endless avenue of escape. Infinite light promises an infinite lightening, he caught himself thinking once.
He rarely sees it so with his waking eyes, anymore. Too busy reviewing linguistic or cultural data from the latest mission, or psyching himself up for their next encounter with an unknown people, to bother looking closely. The Stargate is just that: a simple passage from one place to the next, not a thing in itself. A moment in time, not something to be pondered. Like the side roads on a long commute to work, where familiarity causes all attractions to become invisible.
The funerals remind him, the wreath disappearing beneath the surface of that shining slice of light.
And in his dreams, it stands alone. Its shimmer beckons, promising ease, rest, repose. Chapaa’ai never has any definition here beyond that first, flawed one. The one that he disproved. Door to heaven. His feet are anchored to the ramp, and he cannot look away. There is nothing but a longing to take those few steps, to throw himself past the event horizon, to release the weights he chose to carry. For those moments, all his world is blue and silver.
But it always fades. Darkness takes him, or surreal bronze landscapes. Or, most often, yellow sand, black hair, soft skin, and laughter.
He wakes with tears on his cheeks, and thinks of Sha’re, and does not remember the infinite possibility of escape.
Current Mood: accomplished
|Date:||February 3rd, 2005 02:29 pm (UTC)|| |
I really liked this. It's often interesting to me that we use technology with so little thought about it, barely seeing it anymore. I like that you brought that up here with the Stargate. Also, it sounds so much like Daniel, contemplating his pen, in "Forever in a Day." Nicely done.
Thanks for sharing.
1st: me likey your icon. :)
Thank you so much for commenting. I value your opinion (you're the only person I've friended--initially, anyway--based on this fandom), and am so glad you enjoyed this little fic.
it sounds so much like Daniel, contemplating his pen, in "Forever in a Day."
Um. That's what my beta said; in fact, since he knows I've only seen up through mid-2nd season (plus some 6th), it kind of weirded him out that I nailed this particular character thing. Kinda weirds me out too, but is nonetheless very cool. :-) Like I'm in tune with the Stargate muse or something.
|Date:||February 4th, 2005 07:19 am (UTC)|| |
Weird; Maybe if we ask you to write a full episode you'd produce "Seth" or "A Matter of Time" or something. :-)
Normally I don't go for fics that have the characters talking to the fic author, but I'm suddenly tempted....
Thoughtful. Good points about the poetic, the taken-for-granted, and the wish for escape.
Yay, thank you. I was hoping I'd nailed all that, and if I hadn't you'd be the first to notice, I think. :-)
Well, I don't think I'd have noticed if I hadn't noticed what you were aiming for, if you see what I -- but I guess you mean I would have noticed if they hadn't quite made it. Thanks.
Um...yes. My response *was* a bit convoluted, wasn't it?
And you're welcome.
The last story of yours I reviewed, I noted that you had a good Jack-voice; here, you have an equally good Daniel-voice. And I say that as a rabid Daniel fan. *grin* Beautiful, for such a short story; good use of language.
|Date:||February 7th, 2005 06:05 am (UTC)|| |
I am so pleased that you like my Daniel-voice! Thank you, muchly; I worked on the language, so it's great to know that it works for a Daniel fan. :-)
These musings are definitely very in-character for Daniel, including his poetic depressive streak. I can see him contemplating these things. I always like how he was a smart enough guy that, though he specializes in linguistics and culture, he has a fairly good grasp of the high-level ideas that Sam talks about and can make his own leaps when necessary. I can totally picture him incorporating poetic driftings about his knowledge of the physics of the Stargate into his contemplation of suicide and the loss of Sha're. Nice job! Thanks also for writing something short, which can be read and enjoyed without too much of a time investment. :)
(Are there standardized spellings and capitalizations of these names and terms given anywhere? General conventions adopted by the fandom?)
|Date:||February 16th, 2005 06:35 pm (UTC)|| |
These musings are definitely very in-character for Daniel, including his poetic depressive streak.
Danny's probably the easiest character for me to write. Hmm, now I know why. :-)
I can totally picture him incorporating poetic driftings about his knowledge of the physics of the Stargate into his contemplation of suicide and the loss of Sha're.
You are a really good reviewer. I hadn't actually told myself that's why he went with the quantum thing, it just felt right.
And hey, someone used the word suicide re: this fic. I was waiting for that; that's more or less what it is, but I'm sure Daniel doesn't know that. He hasn't named the longing (which is one reason I am sure that this fic is quite a ways before "Forever in a Day").
Usually, shorts like these are born from some emotion. This one is an oddity; I was pondering the water-shimmer of light from the 'Gate, and Daniel started talking.
The best stories are the ones that tell you who they are on their own. :)