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New Year's Ambitions (etc) - Light One Candle

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December 31st, 2006


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07:32 pm - New Year's Ambitions (etc)
First, that resolutions meme that's been going around:

In 2007, izhilzha resolves to...
Give up homeschooling.
Go to the star wars every month.
Volunteer to spend time with book lists.
Go to shakespeare every Sunday.
Take evening classes in theater.
Backup my i-man regularly.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:


Now for my own "resolutions," or as rj_anderson called them, "ambitions."


I had some specific goals that were not met, such as finishing a full draft of my murder mystery script.

Then there were the "life goals" I mentioned, and interestingly enough, 3 of those wound up being parts of my life that did change or grow, partly through my own efforts, but also in ways that were not in my control at all. Very awesome God-incidents, I would say.

--To be prepared for whatever happens at my workplace, and to not freak out no matter what goes down. Christ is sovereign, and He is with me, and if this means pointing me in a new direction work-wise, then I need to be able to say "Yes, Lord," and follow.

Work stuff was huge this year, and though I'm still at my job, I've moved in the department, been given a raise--and I was prodded unexpectedly back into my dream of writing for TV.

--To learn again, and more, what I learned last year: that I can let go of pain and loneliness and fear, because He really is trustworthy, and He really has/is/will continue to make me holy, and beautiful, and in His image. I love Him like nothing else, but sometimes it's much easier to try and control things by myself.

Yes. That was something I struggled with all year, and yet this year was also the most amazing in that regard since I was a pre-teen. I got to personally experience what it means to start living a life based on trust, not with trust in God sprinkled on top. What it feels like when the influence of fear is broken away, and I can start to live in ways that hadn't been available to me before. Praise Him!

--To figure out what it means to be a big sister to little sisters, since I only had brothers older than 5 before I left home.

I finally feel like I *have* sisters, and I'm getting to have properly sisterly conversations with the 11-year-old. It's quite awesome. I never had that before, except what I got with my good female friends. I had such enormous fun with them in Chicago this month.

Overall, despite a lot of stress over work, and despite some personal growth and the accompanying angst, 2006 was an amazingly good year. The things that changed, changed for the better, and I'm looking forward to this coming year and the challenges and changes it will bring.



Specific goals:

--Spend quiet time daily (morning or night), to read my Bible and pray.

--Spend two evenings a week (Monday and Wednesday) locked away from the internet, books, and TV, writing profic (and possibly fanfic, if I'm writer's blocked on my current script or spec).

--Figure out a way to get more exercise.

Life ambitions:

--Keep a mind and heart open to learning. There's a lot I don't know, and many things I need to be informed about, if only to be able to articulate my own position on certain issues.

--To look at each person I meet as a person, not a job or annoyance or problem. To see them in all their terror and potential, to always be ready to see what is beautiful in them.

--To learn to stand on my own two feet, without fearing what old friends or people from my old church may think, or what my non-Christian friends may think. I am not ashamed of my God, or of what he has taught me, and I need to remember I'm an adult and living before him on my own.

--To cut back on some of my fannish writing, and put that energy into my profic. That's what I want to do, and I need to get some focus if I actually want to succeed.

--To learn again, and more, what I learned last year: that I can let go of pain and loneliness and fear, because He really is trustworthy. Like the Doctor, only more so. :-)


So until next year, this is izhilzha, signing off.
Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic

(5 lit candles | Light a candle)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:wneleh
Date:January 1st, 2007 05:31 am (UTC)
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Like the Doctor, only more so. :-)

:-) I don't think I truly started to build an understanding of God until I read Lord of the Rings and realized that Gandalf wasn't God.

- Helen
[User Picture]
From:kerravonsen
Date:January 1st, 2007 07:40 am (UTC)
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and realized that Gandalf wasn't God.

Do you mean -- that God wasn't like Gandalf, or what?
[User Picture]
From:wneleh
Date:January 1st, 2007 12:52 pm (UTC)
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Up until that point (I was around 12 or 13), I'd conceived of God as a kind, wise old man who did magic tricks of various magnitudes as needed. Having Gandalf embody that, and yet be so far from God-the-creator-redeemer-sustainer, helped me remove some of the limits I'd placed on my conception of God.

- Helen
[User Picture]
From:izhilzha
Date:January 1st, 2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
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That's awesome. :-) Lord of the Rings did something similar to me, though less profound, by teaching me the true meaning of "kingship" and "lordship," which aren't concepts that the modern mind is necessarily familiar with.
[User Picture]
From:wneleh
Date:January 1st, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Interesting! We (meaning my church) tend to do a bit of verbal gymnastics to avoid those terms. I'll bring up the LotR example the next time the subject comes up (and I wouldn't put it past Tolkien to have had this in mind.)

- Helen

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