February 4th, 2009
|08:43 am - One of the things I hate most|
I hate feeling like I don't belong anywhere. That I don't fit.
Current Mood: discontent
But you fit lots of places! *dismay hands*
Yeah... I guess. Maybe I'll whine at you on email later. :) I'm trying to relax today; maybe I'll write some Larry/Megan, huh?
(Hmmm. Have not yet had coffee. Must have coffee!)
*puts out "Yes, we are Open" sign*
I am OPEN for whining!
And yes, coffee helps. Drink the coffee.
|Date:||February 4th, 2009 05:06 pm (UTC)|| |
I know that feeling. But in your case it's false *hugs*
I think everybody feels that way sometimes. Which means you fit in with everybody!
Hee! I approve of that interpretation.
And here I'd say you fit better than I do.
I expect a lot of people would say that about each other. :P I'm trying to be grateful.
You do belong and you do fit. And I love you and even yet HE loves you more. *HUGS*
*sigh* Thank you. I just wish it was more obvious sometimes. (Although, amusingly, my Daily Light scripture readings this morning were all about being called out of Egypt, being holy and chosen and set apart. So there's a good side to all this, which is just sometimes hard to see.)
|Date:||February 4th, 2009 05:50 pm (UTC)|| |
You fit in a hug just fine! XD
Seriously, I know the feeling.
But just think! Look around you at the insanity that is Hollywood -- would you really want to fit in there?
"The building block that was rejected became the cornerstone of a whole new world."
A good point. *g* I keep coming back to the fact that God seems to have put me here because in a lot of ways I *don't* fit. *holds onto this*
(It would help if I felt more like I fit in with the church--I keep feeling like I'm trying to find middle ground, where I am following Christ but not living in OMG FEAR AND SHAME like a lot of the church. Like Meg Murry, whining about being "neither flesh nor fowl nor good red herring." *snerk*)
where I am following Christ but not living in OMG FEAR AND SHAME like a lot of the church
Living in fear and shame? That's terrible. Whatever happened to "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don’t walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." (Rom 8:1)
One thing I've found, though, in fellowshipping with a church that doesn't have quite the same interpretation of the bible as I do, is that it forces one to examine what one does believe, and in the end become more certain about it, where before one didn't think about it at all. It's very uncomfortable, but valuable.
(Edit: changed icon)
Edited at 2009-02-04 08:25 pm (UTC)
I'm exaggerating a little; the church I'm currently in is pretty good about its teaching.
But I get very tired of feeling that I have to examine what I believe so often. I just want some rest, some certainty; and while some of that is just me, and I need to quit trying to be in control and trust God, that He is in control (which is obvious when I actually look at my life, lol).
"For he has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and a sound mind."
Aw. *hugs* I totally know that feeling... let me quote you some Bon Jovi. I could actually quote the whole song, but this part is the most important, I think:
When you wanna give up, and your hearts about to break
Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes.
I'm not a part of any organized religion anymore, but that get's me each and every time. :-)
Bon Jovi rocks...on occasion. (are you an SPN fan? I can't recall.)
That's a cool line, thank you! I dunno if I'm perfect, but I do believe that God makes no mistakes! :)
I've pretty much limited myself to three shows to follow regularly, because that more or less fills up my time already. And no, SPN isn't among those. Yet. Sooner or later, it will catch up with me, I'm sure. :-)
*hugs* I know that feeling. And I think it's something to do with being human... - have some Chesterton:
There fared a mother driven forth
Out of an inn to roam;
In the place where she was homeless
All men are at home.
The crazy stable close at hand,
With shaking timber and shifting sand,
Grew a stronger thing to abide and stand
Than the square stones of Rome.
For men are homesick in their homes,
And strangers under the sun,
And they lay their heads in a foreign land
Whenever the day is done.
Here we have battle and blazing eyes,
And chance and honour and high surprise,
But our homes are under miraculous skies
Where the yule tale was begun.
A child in a foul stable,
Where the beasts feed and foam;
Only where He was homeless
Are you and I at home;
We have hands that fashion and heads that know,
But our hearts we lost---how long ago!
In a place no chart nor ship can show
Under the sky's dome.
This world is wild as an old wife's tale,
And strange the plain things are,
The earth is enough and the air is enough
For our wonder and our war;
But our rest is as far as the fire-drake swings
And our peace is put in impossible things
Where clashed and thundered unthinkable wings
Round an incredible star.
To an open house in the evening
Home shall all men come,
To an older place than Eden
And a taller town than Rome.
To the end of the way of the wandering star,
To the things that cannot be and that are,
To the place where God was homeless
And all men are at home.
I've heard that quoted before, I think, but I'd never read the whole thing. Oh, how lovely. And true. Makes me feel a lot better about not being entirely at rest--and reminds me where I must seek that rest. Thank you.
It's a wonderful, truthy poem - I'm glad it helped!
I imagine so. *hugs back* Thanks.