Seriously. I was giving myself a talking-to about being thankful for what I have, and to suck it up and do my job (thanks, dodger_winslow, for giving my internal scolder John's voice and epithets), and it wasn't working all that well, but I was getting work done.
Then I received an email from Michael, with whom I co-lead Stephen Ministries at my church. I knew that my church has had some budgetary setbacks recently, and had to let some of the paid staff go, but I was unaware of one very key fact:
One of those let go was Brenda, pastor of Caring Ministries, under whom I've been serving for 4 years. She had great vision and drive to grow such ministries within our church (prayer teams, grief support groups, a brand-new 12-step program called Celebrate Recovery, as well as her own counseling and seminars on healthy relationships and so on). All of these will be turned over to another member of the pastoral staff.
This news kind of knocked me for a loop. Unexpected. Frustrating, especially that myself and my people (whom this most affects, aside from those coming to Brenda for counsel) were not told straight out about this. Afraid that these vital ministries are going to get swept under the rug without their champion. And suddenly realizing that I'm going to be the one responsible for screening people who want a Stephen Minister (we don't deal with a few types of cases, including substance abuse or others clearly in need of professional care).
I'm only 27! And I really didn't see this coming. God will provide, and I'm sure I'll cope. But good golly gosh.... My head feels like it's about to explode.