August 25th, 2010
|07:25 pm - Best metaphor ever!|
This is courtesy of my brainy, geeky boyfriend Dan. We were talking about movies (Tron 2.0, probably), and suddenly he burst out with this fantastic metaphor:
"Premarital sex is like spoilers!"
Which it totally is, because it's like being told the intimate details of the movie, which some people want to know beforehand because they're worried it will suck or they're just too excited to wait, and which other people can't stand to know because they want to experience it all in the context of the actual story.
And because I can't leave a good metaphor alone, I extend it: if premarital sex is like spoilers, then making out/cuddling/kissing is like watching the teaser/trailer/preview. Multiple times. Which we all do when we're really looking forward to the movie--often even if we don't want spoilers. :)
Current Location: in front of the kitchen A/C unit
Current Mood: amused
I don't know, framing it that way implies that marriage somehow changes a relationship from "not part of the movie" to "part of the movie". Which would then suggest that people who aren't married, even if they are committed in every other way (living together, kids together, etc), are still just watching the trailers and/or feverishly refreshing fansites for new information. And if they never get married, they will never get to watch the movie.
I'm not trying to get at you here -- I'm aware that your views on marriage differ substantially from mine, and I respect that. I just think that's kind of a sad view of loving, committed non-married couples.
(Also, I can't be the only ridiculous spoilerphobe who leaves the room when previews/trailers for something I'm invested in come on, right? Right?)
I just think that's kind of a sad view of loving, committed non-married couples.
Thing is, in my book, if a couple isn't willing to get married, then they aren't committed. Not truly. No matter how much they say they are, or think they are.
framing it that way implies that marriage somehow changes a relationship from "not part of the movie" to "part of the movie".
To some extent, I think that's true. Marriage is only a formalization of a heart commitment, certainly, which is why I think people should get married instead of just going along without that statement of commitment to each other and to those around them (and to God, if that's part of your life). I think choosing marriage is a loving choice.
I admit I'm annoyed that you decided that your only response to my awesome post was going to be disagreeing with me. I know some "committed, non-married" couples, and while I admire their commitment (never a bad thing and always a difficult thing), I still think they're missing out on giving something extra-special to each other by not marrying.
I apologise for my response -- I realised when kerravonsen
replied and I reread that it wasn't really appropriate, hence not continuing that conversation. I suppose it just pushed my buttons a little, since my mum and dad were married and then divorced, and my dad and stepmother (who have lived together longer than my mum and dad did) made the conscious decision not to get married because she'd had a bad experience with being married before. I just have a knee-jerk reaction to things that I see as questioning the depth of their relationship, you know? But clearly this is going to be an "agree to disagree" situation.
Nonetheless, mea culpa, since clearly this isn't the post for that. I do think (from my limited experience via this post) that your bf sounds adorable and I'm so happy that you two are so happy. ♥
Funny. I can imagine hearing him say that.
Isn't it also kinda like an advanced screening?
I like the spoilers idea better; to me it gives a better metaphor for people's attitudes towards it.
Oh yes, I think yours definitely gives a better metaphor for people's attitudes :) I just think "advance screening" suits my perspective. Heehee :P
I may use that analogy the next time I have that ever-so-fun discussion about standards when dating someone new.
It's interesting to me how many people seem to think that premarital sex is necessary/expected in a relationship when it doesn't actually increase the chances of a later marriage's success.
This amuses me greatly, especially considering some conversations you and I had early on. Hee!
I really need to get out to LA sometime so I can meet the dude.
*laughs* I like it. And you guys are awesome.