izhilzha (izhilzha) wrote,

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Advent: Waiting Where You Are

The New Year is rocketing towards us and sometimes all I can see are the goals: the ones I long to accomplish, the ones I'm ashamed that I haven't managed yet, the ones I still believe are my secret and selfish pipe dreams, the ones that those around expect me to stand tall and courageous in.

But I know that I cannot move forward except from where I am now.

Perhaps you are displaced, literally (by a war, by a house fire, by a breakup) or figuratively (by conflict, by grief, by illness)--stranded somewhere that isn't home, tense and uncomfortable and out of place. Longing for a space where you can settle.

Be where you are.

Or you don't have work to do; not work that is compensated, that pays your rent or buys your groceries and gas. You wanted to be able to give gifts to family this year, but you can't. When you have breakfast and another night in your own bed, you're enormously grateful.

Be where you are.

You're spiritually adrift, cut loose by harmful acts or by circumstance from the faith you once felt rooted in. Maybe you're finding the presence of God is still with you, still the same love, even though you can't bring yourself to use any of your old language for our creator. Maybe 20-year doubts have never left, and you struggle with them daily.

Be where you are.

Maybe you can't forgive that person, no matter how hard you try, how many times you ask God to help you. No matter how much you'd like to feel free from what she did to you, from the words he said. Or from what you did to someone else.

Be where you are.

Perhaps you have everything you ever thought you could want--home and family and friendship and God and happiness and health. But in the center of your abundance you sense a longing for something else or something more: a hole, a hope that this isn't the end, that the world has more wonders waiting than you ever dared imagine.

Be where you are.

Maybe you've have recently realized something profound--hit rock bottom in addiction, or finally grasped the radical love God or your spouse carries for you, or been startled awake to make art after a decade of fear-induced slumber--and this new knowledge overwhelms you daily. You don't know what to do with it, how to live in it, even whether you're capable of welcoming this new arrival.

Take a moment. Heck, take this whole month.


Be where you are.

This is the place you will move from.
Tags: advent, christianity, godstuff, real life

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